Please, do not judge! I was extremely intoxicated this past weekend and agreed to a threesome with my husband and best friend. He ended up having sex with her right in front of me which I didn’t expect to happen. I wasn’t really too hurt at the time because I was pretty far gone but now I’m extremely hurt. I just can’t get the images of my husband having sex with another one right in front of me out of my head. It makes me sick to my stomach. I know I agreed while I was drunk but I just feel that if he really loved me and was gentleman he wouldn’t have let it happen. He wasn’t drunk at all. I’m also wondering if he’s cheated on me and I don’t know about it because he can have sex with my best friend right in front of me and not feel guilty about it. I just don’t know what to do. Again, please no rude remarks. I don’t need them right now.
wow that was stupid.
The only thing you can do is talk to him tell him how your are feeling. I know you feel ashamed but you are going to have to do it or it will eat your marriage to pieces.
PS that was me not being rude.
Ive never been that drunk.
You need a new husband and best friend
you can’t undo it.
quit drinking and never do it again.
If you can’t trust your man, divorce him and find someone else.
Don’t sweat it. Serioulsy don’t. Talk to him about how you feel, and let him know that next time, if there is a next time, you’d like to be sober so you enjoy it more. With guys, sex is just sex. Remember that.
First of all, you shouldn’t get drunk if you lose control like that.
Secondly, you need a new best friend.
Thirdly, you need a new husband. A faithful, trustworthy husband wouldn’t have done what he did.
i Wish did have advice for u, best to get some kind of therapy, because u will never get the image of the man u love giving what was only meant for u to someone else. now your marriage will never feel the same again. this is something that once u do it u can’t undo it.
Ask for reciprocation.
I don’t know what I’d do in that situation – I guess I’d have to watch. Sounds terrible.
nope
wow,i would never agree to that,ummm i think your husband should have realized that you were intoxicated and he should not have sex and he shouldnt have wanted to do it in the first place.im sry
Why are you hurting because of your husband? What about your friend? Also, something does not feel right about this situation. For this to have happened like it did, your husband and friend probably plan this or already had the hots for each other.
You both cheated on each other.
I could never drink enough to make such a stupid decision. Sounds like they had fun. You should tell him you had fun too and lets do it again with his best friend so he can watch you and see how he feels. You really don’t want him now do you. He is a pig.
Living with stupid decisions is never easy. Try to get past it or it will haunt you.
Yes he cheated. He had to get you drunk to go along with it. I can’t say how you should react but me personally I would leave him.
I am also a bartender by trade and hear and understand peoples troubles: To remedy this situation calls for fair play, are you following me? Arrange with a suitable man friend to join you in bed, certainly inform your husband so he is not surprised from the moans coming from the bedroom. AN EYE FOR AN EYE is sometimes the best remedy.
You say you agreed; however, what happened was more than you expected. I would suggest you speak with your husband; verbalize your feelings regarding what happened. With the fact in mind in the present “you agreed” however got more than you bargained for. I would not consider that because he did this act in full view of you with your agreement; that does not make him a cheater. I would not wonder of his ability to be monogamous in the relationship when you are not in view. Trust has not been comprised (agreement) regardless of level of intoxication. I would speak with him and explain your feelings and go from there. Stop beating yourself up; stop beating him, the relationship or the girlfriend. Move forward and move on this is obviously not for you. You don’t have to repeat it. Clear, open and honest communication is the key; it will remove some of the sting.
I’m sorry you are hurting. Because this was all mutually consensual there was no cheating going on. Keep your eye out for it in the future. You know, it is said that if one’s drinking causes problems then one is an alcoholic. It appears your drinking has caused you a problem (maybe more than you are sharing here). I would pay attention and perhaps attend a few alcoholics anonymous meetings. I’m not trying to be rude, just trying to be straightforward with what I’m observing here.
he wasnt drunk but he sure took advantage of you when you were drunk, he’d know you wouldnt say yes in your right mind, he wanted her and he took advantage of the situation. yes i belive he would do it again, also, she obviously wanted him,. that is adultery.
what a jerk… well was your bestfriend drunk?
maybe you should stop drinking he can’t take advantage of you then
your either going to be miserable or your either going to make it work it’s up to you.
and why the hell would your bff agree to this i wouldn’t talk to her anymore
try to focus on your marriage and working things out.
Look, you were drunk. When alcohol is in the equation, nothing is going to rationalize what happened. That’s just the sad truth.
He was probably pretty damn excited when you AGREED to a threesome, and any man I know would take advantage of something like that. If you really are concerned about him cheating, talk to him – that’s really the only way. Although honestly if I were you, I wouldn’t be too worried or hurt. You said it was okay. Yes, you were drunk, but that’s not his fault either.
Not saying anything about your concerns is about the worst thing you can do, unless they go away. Maybe even talk to your friend too. Once everything is out in the open it’ll be easier to become more comfortable with what happened. Maybe he’s having guilty feelings you just don’t know about as well.
Being drunk does not make a us do things we do not want to do.
Being drunk makes us more likely to do the things we want to do.
Your issues are your own. Don’t take it out on your husband.
My advice:
Get counseling: That is a very hard situation to deal with. Seeing your husband have sex with your best friend. That is an image that is hard to cope with.
New husband and new best friend: There is no way in hell that if your husband truly loved and respected you, he would take advantage of you like that and sleep with your best friend. If your best friend was any type of friend, she would not have presented herself in this type of situation to begin with. She knew that you were not of full body and mind. She should have known better. They both should have known better. You should have known better than to be drinking to the point of losing your rational mind!
You need to stop drinking to that extreme if you lose all comprehension like that.
That leaves questions in your mind because it makes you wonder if he was so willingly to sleep with her without hesitation, has he already been sleeping with her or sleeping with other people.. You do need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel about this situation and be completely honest with him.
Good luck! I have never had this happen to me before, so this is the best advice I could give about this. I am so sorry you are feeling like this.
you were drunk and he didn’t think it about it that you drunk talking. wow that so wrong about him and wasn’t drunk. I think you need to talk about it to your husband. If were you I would tell it was a test to see if he loves and respect you when you are drunk. also, your friend too she didn’t care about you too. I am sure they end up doing it again without you this time. I am sorry but, you just poison your marriage by adding your friend. now you should keep an eye on them if i were you. fix it with husband and tell him how you feel now. maybe you will feel better and move on. don’t do that again. I WOULD LIKE HEAR WHAT HAPPENDs! when you fix it.
A threesome is such a common fantasy for men.
Can you talk to him about how you feel now? How does he feel about it? Had you ever discussed it before you got drunk and it happened?
Do you suspect he got you drunk so that he could fulfil his fantasy?
You need to talk openly and honestly with him before you choose your path forward. Couple counselling might help.
I hope had sex with you first and gave you an orgasm.
I think you should go out with your husband and pick up a real hunk and bring him back and ride that boy in front of hubby. Make sure he’s a real hunk though! and BIG too!
Leave him! He doesn’t have any respect for you, and she’s not your friend. Sorry me and my best friend go to lunch together not have sex with each others husbands! That’s just sick!
And I think that is cheating, he took advantage of you when you were drunk. They probably have been having an affair. I have a gf that did this with one of her friends and her husband and the girl cont. to have an affair on their own, she found out a couple months later.
I am sorry that you are in this situation. I will try not to be harsh, but will say this quickly. Even when we are intoxicated, we are still responsible for our actions, especially if we made the choice to drink.
That said, I really have to wonder what type of man your husband is to even ask you to have sex with one of your friends. He may defend himself by saying, at least he asked. But you were in no position to make good decisions. He wouldn’t let you drive drunk, so why would he ask you a question that could determine the fate of your marriage? And he couldn’t use the excuse that he was horny and it just happened. You were there. If it he was just aroused he could have slept with you. And I would hate to have a best friend like the one you have. Drunk or not, it is never acceptable to have sex with your best friends husband. That is BFF rule number one.
You need to evaluate your situation and your relationships. Is there a reason why you have to get so drunk that you lose all good sense? Why would your best friend agree to sleep with your husband? Why would your husband even make such a request in the first place? Did they use condoms? Do you use condoms with your husband? I would question if it was even the first time that he had sex with someone else while since you have been married. I would question whether this was the first time your friend and your husband slept with each other? What does your friends say about the situation? And could you ever trust either one of them…together?
After you make your husband go for a physical including STD tests and you get yourself checked out and you are sure that your friend is not pregnant…If you love your husband, and you want to try to work it out with him, you may need to cut the friend out of your life to make the relationship work.
I wish you the best in this situation.
Jesus! I cannot believe this.
Never a good idea to do that with people you know. By the way what did you think a threesome was? and you weren’t that drunk if you can remeber. I am sure he’ll be remebering for a while. They both agreed to it cause they were attracted to each other. All you can do is talk to them, never gonna be able to forget it. Probably ruin either your marriage or your friendship.
Drinking is not an excuse but is the problem here. You need to accept responsibility for your actions. I am not convinced that talking to him about what happen will do any good and what is needed is some change in behaviors. The only time I would say he cheated on you if you were drunk and did not know it. Such as your husband giving you cola but adding alcohol into the drink without your knowledge. Based on the information you have provided you had a choice regarding the decision to drink, you made the decision to drink, and as a result of it you participated in a threesome.
My feeling would be to use this as a learning situation and learn that if you want to be in control of a situation then being drunk does not help. Based on the Information you have provided I am left to wonder if you have a drinking problem?
You can’t help how you feel – but you can do something about how you talk about it to your husband.
Do NOT get mad at him.
You should apologize to him for getting carried away.
Let him know that you regret it – but that you are not mad at him for doing it.
Tell him that you are mad at yourself for letting it happen, that you love him, that you will try not to put him in a difficult situation again.
Show him that you love him – have great, wild, kinky sex with him – just the two of you.
Perhaps you can apologize to your best friend too. She may feel just as badly as you do – and it was not her fault – or at least no more her fault than it was yours.
If you can’t be friends anymore, that’s too bad. But don’t take your disappointment with yourself out on her.
Then, perhaps you should think about drinking less. A drink or two or three can be nice, but if you are losing control – it’s probably time to reign that in a bit.
Good luck.
You need to talk to your husband about your feelings. Perhaps he should have realized you were “pretty far gone” and not done it. On the other hand, the fact is you were there, and said it was ok, so you did give him permission, and he arguably did nothing wrong. My feeling is that he hasn’t cheated on you; he’s merely a man who jumped at the chance to be with another woman with his wife there, giving permission.
Basically, you both need to acknowledge that while no one was really “to blame” in this situation, it was arguably a mistake, and your feelings got hurt. Hopefully he will react with understanding and kindness, and that will allow you to move forward and let go of your negative feelings. It’s unfortunate the woman involved was your best friend, someone you’re presumably going to see every day. You probably need to clear the air with her as well. I don’t imagine she’s going to try to steal your husband away or anything. Again, the point with her would be that while no one was to blame, and what is done is done, you view it as a mistake and don’t ever want it to happen again.